Nigeria’s Bride Price app: reason behind debate, it is it just a commentary that is sly social days gone by?
Honey, which means that your life shall be sweet. Palm oil, to lubricate life’s aches. Salt, to protect and help keep you. Kola nut, i can not keep in mind precisely, but is it maybe perhaps not sufficient it is the absolute most symbolically Nigerian thing, across all cultural lines?
Exactly what are these? Collectively, they form element of a “bride cost” – money and presents provided by a person’s household to a female’s upon their wedding. At school in Nigeria, during Yoruba history course, we had been told about women that attracted incredibly high bride rates, influenced by their characteristics. Inversely, there have been females whoever bride rates had been therefore paltry, it absolutely was an embarrassment. I do not recall the certain presents and whatever they signify any longer, but I really do understand that these classes by which we were taught about our history had been, for contemporary budding feminists, a tough pill to ingest.
I will be contemplating bride price again this week, though, due to a brand new software that’s been doing the rounds within the African corners of my internet life. Initially, I happened to be reluctant to publish concerning this app after all. The narrative of Africa and Africans in britain as well as other Western, mostly white areas is really old, therefore outdated and false, so wearying, that we conserve African tales for my safer areas, places where there’s absolutely no empathy space. I like dealing with Nigeria without some internet complete complete stranger telling me personally to “simply get on it!” Speaking about Africa – its good and its own that is bad on internet wears me away. So when we third-culture kids meet up, occupying that center room into the Venn diagram that overlaps our moms and dads’ countries aided by the West’s, we are able to laugh about any of it. That is just what this software is approximately.
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The Bride Price app calculated that I became worth the “Premium Babe”-ly amount of 494,500 Nigerian naira (NGN) –about ?1,816. Exactly just How achieved it get to this figure? Via a few concerns, plus they are the genuine celebrity of the software. You’ve got the choice to always check “we are always aware of, even when we cannot see or hear them, is our enemy for yourself” or “for your friend/enemy” – because as Nigerians, one thing.
So, also I was smiling before I clicked. Then came the actual concerns: my height; my fat (options included the extremely standard “medium”, and the harder-to-decipher “Mama Ronke” – just what does that even mean?); my leg form (“straight”, “sexy bow leg www.mail-order-bride.net/hungarian-brides/ (Beyonce)” etc); my facial beauty (from “intimidating” to “complete no try”) an such like. Each response possesses value – no kola pea nuts here – often a “discount”, 60 % if you should be regrettable sufficient to function as the indecipherable “Mama Ronke”. At the conclusion of the test, the app does take time to determine the bride cost and provides a jaunty message by having a blinking green shekere (a West African drum): “Please wait – the elders are consulting.”
The expression “if you never laugh, you are going to cry” appears, inside your, to be manufactured particularly for Nigerians. The accepted narrative is certainly one of woe, a country lurching from pillar (of calamity) to create (of disaster) despite a resource wide range which could effortlessly function as reply to our dilemmas. The idea of bride pricing is a screen to our past, a past that is never glorious or edifying whenever seen via a contemporary lens.
But this application is sly – the nuance might not be visually noticeable to all optical eyes, but it is here. Under skin colour – which might or might not have had a direct impact on bride cost when you look at the olden days and truly things in the hierarchy of beauty today – comes five groups. “Half caste”; “Light epidermis”; “Dark”; “Whitenicious”; and “Lupita” (like in Nyong’o). The worth for every decreases while you get along record, you start with +NGN50,000. Issue – and response choices simultaneously acknowledge the colour-struck manner attribute of a swathe of Nigerians, in addition to noting without fuss the product range of tints we can be bought in obviously. There is certainly a level for the Lupita skin, that will be a little thing, however.
There are various other markers. On teeth, a “white with gap” gets the greatest value (my mom has expressed dismay that none of her kids inherited our grandmother’s “beautiful” diastema), while “Ronaldinho” is sold with a -NGN40,000 tag. The area and citizenship concerns are fine “don’t cry laugh that is– examples (America happens tops in both), and a Masters is desirable, however a PhD features a penalty of -NGN100,000. Employment views gas and oil show up trumps (+NGN100,000); my journalism job has a value of only +NGN20,000. Thankfully, i will be “redeemed” by my English accent – the– that is highest respected at +NGN45,000.
Then maybe it’s not for you if you can’t see the social commentary in this app.
Anyhow. The software proposed my prospective in-laws deliver 100 yards of cable lace to my ancestral household homestead as befitting my “Premium Babe” status. Finally, an software that gets me…